dark defense

I thought I was ready
to see your face,
but
something, or someone,
made me angry
again
and I couldn’t come to you as if
the past was fragment-free.

I hear you walk around

wondering why we went wrong
and
I wander the same,
mentally reacting when
someone mentions your name.

But I should be easy to forget,

the simple trial run;
nothing more than
a pair of ears to advise,
a humble mind to contain,
and
if ever I hear
“let’s cuddle”
again
I’ll scream –   
for I was the woman
with lips to kiss              
but never
to confide in.

I made you out of

paper mache promises
and origami dreams,
and you placed me within
finger-painted frames,
arranging my miscellaneous
colors for you yourself
to perceive.
I knew who I was;
you were not yet
what you were to become,
but still you played me
as if you were king
and I was not fit for queen.

And so anticipation paints

future friendships wary and
while I have no answers
to my irritated sighs
I know
neither do you.
If time is intended to heal all wounds,
let that not be for me;
“Forgive and Forget”
shall instead be
“Forgive and Remember”
to keep myself from
falling for you
all over again
and again
and again.